Exegetical : To read the Bible for what it says and to extract truth from it no matter what it says
Eisegetical : To take your presupposed ideas and read the Bible through that lens and conform the words to fit what it is you already believe
Monday, July 13, 2009
I Went, And I Stayed
Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve an incredibly unimportant announcement to make: I went to Warped tour for the first time this year, and it very well may be the last time I ever go. Tragic? Perhaps. But moreso than my lack of attendance for all these future golden years is the lack of talent being demonstrated at such a large-scale tour as this, this year. I mean seriously, who the hell deemed this (left, oh the irony) miss-ter as talented enough to play alongside such acts as Alexisonfire, Flogging Molly and Anti Flag? Even the Millionaires are more deserving, despite having botched their lip synching job during soundcheck. And I dare you to ask Frank Carter to disagree with me. Anyway it wasn’t all bad: I got to catch up with a few pals that I haven’t seen for entirely too long and somehow managed to (fleetingly) weasel the attention of a fresh-faced Toronto boy who – even if only for a moment – put a little slice of a smile on my face. And there ain’t no harm in that. I also had the most pleasurable experience of seeing Bryanne drunk – like, realllly drunk – which included the awe inspiring sight of her having beer dribbled into her mouth via a canoed piece of cardboard off the floor. First time? Who knows.
I’m leaving soon, and the more I say that phrase the more apprehensive I get. I want this, and there’s a direction in my legs that’s coming from the certainty coursing through my veins. And yet it’s there: the promise that things will never be the same for me but exactly as they were when I left.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Environmentalists are Racist
When racists – real racists – go off on a tirade, it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. They’re just so shameless and oblivious, you’re thinking, can this guy hear himself?
And when environmentalists go on about Al Gore and ‘going green’, and how there are ‘way too many cars out there’ and there are ‘too many of us’, I find myself cringing and praying there are no Mexicans in the room. I mean surely those bourgeois hippies know it’s primarily Mexicans who are behind the population surge in the U.S. They know you cannot have too many cars without too many people but they won’t say, “Stop breeding you fucking wetbacks!” so they just get mad at cars. When the greeners take it to a global community level, the ethnic bashing gets even worse.
“We should supply contraceptives to all those people in the developing world,” says Norman Myers of the World Wildlife Fund. “Population growth is directly involved in the pollution and the degradation of our environment,” adds Sierra Club head Carl Pope. “Well excu-u-u-u-ussse me for living,” says the Third World…
Environmentalists pretend they only hate gas guzzling SUV’s and other rich American white-people cars, but these only account for a tiny fraction of the cars out there. The mathematical truth is impossible to deny: To say there is too many cars in America is the same as saying, “there’s too many Mexicans in America.” And to say there’s too many cars in the world is to say there is too many non-whites in the world. Sounds like most tree-huggers would like to sink Africa, Asia and South America into the sea.
They kinda already tried. After reading a poorly researched book called Silent Spring that said bug spray DDT kills birds (it doesn’t), environmentalists decided the chemical must be eradicated. Eventually this ban became a worldwide phenomenon, and the Third World was prevented from using the greatest mosquito killer ever made. This lead to millions of deaths.
The tiny South African province of KwaZulu Natal, for example, saw about 50 deaths per year before the DDT ban – a number that shot up to almost 500 the following year. The director general of health services for Uganda called the DDT ban “contemporary colonialism” after watching 50, 000 Ugandan children die of Malaria in 2005. It is an epidemic that has spread across the entire continent, and the dead have the Green movement to thank.
Environmentalists were called out for this a few years ago, but instead of letting the relatively harmless DDT go free and save African lives, they came up with a new plan: nets. That’s right, nets. “Nothing But Nets” is an organization whose ironic mantra ‘Send a net, Save a life’ seems to laugh in the face of numbers – their Bandaid solution can’t even come close to saving the lives that DDT would.
Environmentalists enjoy killing Africans with a lot more than bugs. They also enjoy murdering them with that weird prank where you leave a paper bag of burning excrement in front of someone’s house and anonymously ring the doorbell. The British Department of International Development is pushing a program called ‘Development By Dung’ wherein Africans are encouraged to “not follow the same failed patterns of energy use” and use manure instead of diesel to power their communities. With all due respect to dung, it sucks shit. Lung damage is now second only to diarrhea as a child killer in Africa and it comes from inhaling poo.
Ashesi University’s Kofi Bentil has begged the First World elites to take it easy on all this emission fascism and let the African countries use real fuel. “Please, Europe and America, spare us!” he recently pleaded. “You can cut your own emissions if you want, but don’t tell us what to do. We really have much more serious and urgent threats to deal with.” All Africa wants is the luxury to use a coal-fired power plant to give them one fucking light bulb, and, possibly, a microwave in their homes. Start them with that and they could get healthy, then educated, then organized, then wealthy, then independent, and then maybe worry about solar panels and organic soy. “Nope,” say the environmentalists. “Stick to shit.”
Hardcore environmentalists don’t even want Africans to eat. In 1970 Norman Borlog won the Nobel Peace Prize for inventing genetically engineered food. He has lived in the Third World for decades and his work has saved an estimate one billion lives. However, white upper-middle-class American health nuts in organic cotton pants call his corn ‘frankenfood’ and insist we all go back to the chemical free farming. All of us. Even Africa. Borlog did the math and tried to explain to the greenies:
a) Genetically engineered food is not bad for you
b) We do not inject animal genes into corn. We look at, say, fish genes, and try to figure out how they work – but you can’t make fishcorn. Stop calling it Frankenfood. Especially when you’re talking to Third World politicians who want to make you happy.
c) Organic farming sounds great if you live on Venice Beach and only eat raw food (what a luxury!) but even if your ‘all organic’ plan could be executed, it would only feed four billion of us. That’s 2.6 billion short of the world’s population.
The environmentalists responded, “Fuck you Borlog.” Subsequently, in October of 2002, Zambia had a huge donation of genetically engineered food slapped out of their hands when the president was told it was poison. The country responded by starving. Hippies must have danced with glee when they saw the numbers of bodies pile up to the sky. But hey, this is only the beginning – Latin America has a good 40 million poor people that could do with some suffering!
Not only does the enviro-dogma of “Stop using so much stuff” equal “Enough with the immigrant babies in America,” but environmentalists’ love of bio-fuels says, “Fuck the Mexicans and Mexico, too”. By pushing everyone from gas to ethanol, they have jacked up the price of corn so high Mexicans can’t afford their own tortillas.
In 2005 a kilo of tortillas in Mexico cost sixty-three cents per pound. Today, thanks to the demand for corn now doubling as fuel, the price is over two dollars. Try telling a poor person their grocery bills are going to triple overnight. Sucks right? Look! They’re crying! For the first time in Latin American history, Ramen noodles are overtaking tortillas as the region’s most popular food. (This sounds like a joke but I am serious)
Ethanol is a great way for actors in California to feel better about driving their cars, but it makes poor people starve and it increases global warming and it destroys forests and it inflates food prices globally. Only an elitist racist would tell the Third World that the best way to power an engine is to burn food. Even in America this new demand has raised the price of everything – fifty per cent in some cases. Livestock eat corn, and it all trickles down from there.
When customers at Whole Foods on 14th St. in Manhattan were confronted with this huge hike in food costs, most responded with, "I can take it." These are the same people, by the way, who insist on banning trans fats and have forced the Third World to switch from supplying them partially hydrogenated vegetable oil to the much less cholesterol-y palm oil. This meant dedicating the rain forests in places like Borneo to trans fat-free farms that displace all the aboriginals there, as well as the wild orangutans, and the Sumatran rhinoceroses, and the pygmy elephants. It's a move that the World Bank recently described as "a species extinction spasm of planetary proportions." You would think these hippies would be satisfied with fucking all blacks and browns in the ass. But that still leaves a billion Asians who are just asking for it!
Though Bush is blamed for leaving China out of the Kyoto treaty, the truth is Gore and Clinton just sat on it until their term was up and it was George's problem. This still hasn't prevented environmentalists from taking out a few million Asians. Chinese people love pork more than Mexicans love tortillas. Shit, they love it more than starving Africans love eating genetically engineered food. Unfortunately, ethanol fanaticism has jacked the world price of corn so high that not even pigs can eat. That means in 2007 the price for live pigs went up a whopping seventy-one per cent. And that means poor Chinese starve.
All of Asia is feeling this pinch. Even Indonesians, who are way too Muslim to give a shit about pork, had a riot in Jakarta back in January because bio-diesel had jacked the prices of soybeans through the roof and nobody could afford to eat shit. (Actually, that's the one thing they could afford to eat but Africa had used it all to heat their mud huts).
So environmentalists want Africans to starve, they want Mexicans to stop breeding, and they want all of Asia to do both.
Now, it's possible that Al Gore's fans are just naive kids with their hearts in the right place. But I don't know, I planted about 150,000 trees from 1990 to 1995 and the only people I remember in the forest working sixty hours a week were African exchange students, Native Americans, working class locals, and a few broke students who never talked about the environment once. Once again, the ones screaming, "Keep it real" the loudest are the ones the most full of shit (metaphorically of course -- the ones literally the most full of shit here would be the Africans, unfortunately).
- Gavin McInnes
Death + Taxes Magazine
And when environmentalists go on about Al Gore and ‘going green’, and how there are ‘way too many cars out there’ and there are ‘too many of us’, I find myself cringing and praying there are no Mexicans in the room. I mean surely those bourgeois hippies know it’s primarily Mexicans who are behind the population surge in the U.S. They know you cannot have too many cars without too many people but they won’t say, “Stop breeding you fucking wetbacks!” so they just get mad at cars. When the greeners take it to a global community level, the ethnic bashing gets even worse.
“We should supply contraceptives to all those people in the developing world,” says Norman Myers of the World Wildlife Fund. “Population growth is directly involved in the pollution and the degradation of our environment,” adds Sierra Club head Carl Pope. “Well excu-u-u-u-ussse me for living,” says the Third World…
Environmentalists pretend they only hate gas guzzling SUV’s and other rich American white-people cars, but these only account for a tiny fraction of the cars out there. The mathematical truth is impossible to deny: To say there is too many cars in America is the same as saying, “there’s too many Mexicans in America.” And to say there’s too many cars in the world is to say there is too many non-whites in the world. Sounds like most tree-huggers would like to sink Africa, Asia and South America into the sea.
They kinda already tried. After reading a poorly researched book called Silent Spring that said bug spray DDT kills birds (it doesn’t), environmentalists decided the chemical must be eradicated. Eventually this ban became a worldwide phenomenon, and the Third World was prevented from using the greatest mosquito killer ever made. This lead to millions of deaths.
The tiny South African province of KwaZulu Natal, for example, saw about 50 deaths per year before the DDT ban – a number that shot up to almost 500 the following year. The director general of health services for Uganda called the DDT ban “contemporary colonialism” after watching 50, 000 Ugandan children die of Malaria in 2005. It is an epidemic that has spread across the entire continent, and the dead have the Green movement to thank.
Environmentalists were called out for this a few years ago, but instead of letting the relatively harmless DDT go free and save African lives, they came up with a new plan: nets. That’s right, nets. “Nothing But Nets” is an organization whose ironic mantra ‘Send a net, Save a life’ seems to laugh in the face of numbers – their Bandaid solution can’t even come close to saving the lives that DDT would.
Environmentalists enjoy killing Africans with a lot more than bugs. They also enjoy murdering them with that weird prank where you leave a paper bag of burning excrement in front of someone’s house and anonymously ring the doorbell. The British Department of International Development is pushing a program called ‘Development By Dung’ wherein Africans are encouraged to “not follow the same failed patterns of energy use” and use manure instead of diesel to power their communities. With all due respect to dung, it sucks shit. Lung damage is now second only to diarrhea as a child killer in Africa and it comes from inhaling poo.
Ashesi University’s Kofi Bentil has begged the First World elites to take it easy on all this emission fascism and let the African countries use real fuel. “Please, Europe and America, spare us!” he recently pleaded. “You can cut your own emissions if you want, but don’t tell us what to do. We really have much more serious and urgent threats to deal with.” All Africa wants is the luxury to use a coal-fired power plant to give them one fucking light bulb, and, possibly, a microwave in their homes. Start them with that and they could get healthy, then educated, then organized, then wealthy, then independent, and then maybe worry about solar panels and organic soy. “Nope,” say the environmentalists. “Stick to shit.”
Hardcore environmentalists don’t even want Africans to eat. In 1970 Norman Borlog won the Nobel Peace Prize for inventing genetically engineered food. He has lived in the Third World for decades and his work has saved an estimate one billion lives. However, white upper-middle-class American health nuts in organic cotton pants call his corn ‘frankenfood’ and insist we all go back to the chemical free farming. All of us. Even Africa. Borlog did the math and tried to explain to the greenies:
a) Genetically engineered food is not bad for you
b) We do not inject animal genes into corn. We look at, say, fish genes, and try to figure out how they work – but you can’t make fishcorn. Stop calling it Frankenfood. Especially when you’re talking to Third World politicians who want to make you happy.
c) Organic farming sounds great if you live on Venice Beach and only eat raw food (what a luxury!) but even if your ‘all organic’ plan could be executed, it would only feed four billion of us. That’s 2.6 billion short of the world’s population.
The environmentalists responded, “Fuck you Borlog.” Subsequently, in October of 2002, Zambia had a huge donation of genetically engineered food slapped out of their hands when the president was told it was poison. The country responded by starving. Hippies must have danced with glee when they saw the numbers of bodies pile up to the sky. But hey, this is only the beginning – Latin America has a good 40 million poor people that could do with some suffering!
Not only does the enviro-dogma of “Stop using so much stuff” equal “Enough with the immigrant babies in America,” but environmentalists’ love of bio-fuels says, “Fuck the Mexicans and Mexico, too”. By pushing everyone from gas to ethanol, they have jacked up the price of corn so high Mexicans can’t afford their own tortillas.
In 2005 a kilo of tortillas in Mexico cost sixty-three cents per pound. Today, thanks to the demand for corn now doubling as fuel, the price is over two dollars. Try telling a poor person their grocery bills are going to triple overnight. Sucks right? Look! They’re crying! For the first time in Latin American history, Ramen noodles are overtaking tortillas as the region’s most popular food. (This sounds like a joke but I am serious)
Ethanol is a great way for actors in California to feel better about driving their cars, but it makes poor people starve and it increases global warming and it destroys forests and it inflates food prices globally. Only an elitist racist would tell the Third World that the best way to power an engine is to burn food. Even in America this new demand has raised the price of everything – fifty per cent in some cases. Livestock eat corn, and it all trickles down from there.
When customers at Whole Foods on 14th St. in Manhattan were confronted with this huge hike in food costs, most responded with, "I can take it." These are the same people, by the way, who insist on banning trans fats and have forced the Third World to switch from supplying them partially hydrogenated vegetable oil to the much less cholesterol-y palm oil. This meant dedicating the rain forests in places like Borneo to trans fat-free farms that displace all the aboriginals there, as well as the wild orangutans, and the Sumatran rhinoceroses, and the pygmy elephants. It's a move that the World Bank recently described as "a species extinction spasm of planetary proportions." You would think these hippies would be satisfied with fucking all blacks and browns in the ass. But that still leaves a billion Asians who are just asking for it!
Though Bush is blamed for leaving China out of the Kyoto treaty, the truth is Gore and Clinton just sat on it until their term was up and it was George's problem. This still hasn't prevented environmentalists from taking out a few million Asians. Chinese people love pork more than Mexicans love tortillas. Shit, they love it more than starving Africans love eating genetically engineered food. Unfortunately, ethanol fanaticism has jacked the world price of corn so high that not even pigs can eat. That means in 2007 the price for live pigs went up a whopping seventy-one per cent. And that means poor Chinese starve.
All of Asia is feeling this pinch. Even Indonesians, who are way too Muslim to give a shit about pork, had a riot in Jakarta back in January because bio-diesel had jacked the prices of soybeans through the roof and nobody could afford to eat shit. (Actually, that's the one thing they could afford to eat but Africa had used it all to heat their mud huts).
So environmentalists want Africans to starve, they want Mexicans to stop breeding, and they want all of Asia to do both.
Now, it's possible that Al Gore's fans are just naive kids with their hearts in the right place. But I don't know, I planted about 150,000 trees from 1990 to 1995 and the only people I remember in the forest working sixty hours a week were African exchange students, Native Americans, working class locals, and a few broke students who never talked about the environment once. Once again, the ones screaming, "Keep it real" the loudest are the ones the most full of shit (metaphorically of course -- the ones literally the most full of shit here would be the Africans, unfortunately).
- Gavin McInnes
Death + Taxes Magazine
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Listen
I am never going to have a twitter account. I will never ‘tweet’ my way through the day, and I simply do not care what you’ve been up to and what everyone else thinks about what you’ve been up to. Seriously, what happened to IRL conversations and the benefits of getting on the blower? Aside from last night, I can’t remember the last time someone called merely to talk, and more outrageously, I can’t remember the last time a dude flirted with me outside the confines of this computer screen and or my blackberry.
Grooooaaaannn. But anyway, I didn’t waste my “valuable” time at work to complain about these shenanigans, I came to tell you all about a specific musician who I think is absolutely brilliant.
*Disclaimer*: Yes, I would do questionable things to m/o with this young buck and perhaps that contributes to the reason I’m writing. However, I’m only 30% serious about that, and 70% serious about my recommendation that you make yourself an acquaintance.
He is none other than The Boogie Man Jordon Daniel. He used to front for a hardcore band from the West Coast called The Gorgeous but now he’s flying solo and doing it well: aka, independently, without being pigeonholed by the music industry, and for free. Who doesn’t like free stuff? Anyway, you can download his album HERE. I don’t support drug use at all, nor do I adhere to idolization, but whatever this man has going on…it works.
On another note and mainly due to the fact that I obviously spend most of my work day doing the precise opposite, I have stumbled across several IC Roadie blogs and now feel a solid mix of apprehension and excitement stirring up my belly. The excitement is for obvious reasons while the apprehension actually brings me back to my pubescent high school days: what if people don’t think I’m sweet in San Diego?
I mean, I’m pretty confident in myself and I know where my heart is, but I feel like there are aspects of my personality that might not jive well amongst certain people. For one, I DO have a bit of a tongue and I lay the sarcasm on thick, but furthermore, I’m not above making suggestive jokes and I’m keen on being a goofball more often than I am about being serious. And what of my identity? I’ve heard overeducated TV therapists say that teenagers are the most lost, but it’s in my twenties that I’ve found most of my most significant trials and tribulations…
I guess there’s always God. And as the days go by I’m finding more strength in my otherwise wobbly knees through Him. I only hope that I can feed off the good word others bring with them enough to gain ground because it seems everyday the devil and God are raging inside of me (thanks Brand New).
Phillipians 4: 6-7
Keep it brazen.
Grooooaaaannn. But anyway, I didn’t waste my “valuable” time at work to complain about these shenanigans, I came to tell you all about a specific musician who I think is absolutely brilliant.
*Disclaimer*: Yes, I would do questionable things to m/o with this young buck and perhaps that contributes to the reason I’m writing. However, I’m only 30% serious about that, and 70% serious about my recommendation that you make yourself an acquaintance.
He is none other than The Boogie Man Jordon Daniel. He used to front for a hardcore band from the West Coast called The Gorgeous but now he’s flying solo and doing it well: aka, independently, without being pigeonholed by the music industry, and for free. Who doesn’t like free stuff? Anyway, you can download his album HERE. I don’t support drug use at all, nor do I adhere to idolization, but whatever this man has going on…it works.
On another note and mainly due to the fact that I obviously spend most of my work day doing the precise opposite, I have stumbled across several IC Roadie blogs and now feel a solid mix of apprehension and excitement stirring up my belly. The excitement is for obvious reasons while the apprehension actually brings me back to my pubescent high school days: what if people don’t think I’m sweet in San Diego?
I mean, I’m pretty confident in myself and I know where my heart is, but I feel like there are aspects of my personality that might not jive well amongst certain people. For one, I DO have a bit of a tongue and I lay the sarcasm on thick, but furthermore, I’m not above making suggestive jokes and I’m keen on being a goofball more often than I am about being serious. And what of my identity? I’ve heard overeducated TV therapists say that teenagers are the most lost, but it’s in my twenties that I’ve found most of my most significant trials and tribulations…
I guess there’s always God. And as the days go by I’m finding more strength in my otherwise wobbly knees through Him. I only hope that I can feed off the good word others bring with them enough to gain ground because it seems everyday the devil and God are raging inside of me (thanks Brand New).
Phillipians 4: 6-7
Keep it brazen.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
California Love
Okay, this post is aptly titled not only because I love Tupac Shakur’s deliciously silly antics, but also because it would appear I’m officially moving to San Diego for five months in…3 weeks. I won’t bore any potential readers with the details, but I will hint that you should all check THIS out and maybe THIS one too if you’ve got any extra money kicking around (and in this failing economy, who the heck doesn’t?).
Monday, June 22, 2009
Not The Band, The Good Life
This weekend started off on a pretty hilarious note: my best gal pal hosted what women call a “Fantasia Party” and what men only know as “dildo domination.” Turns out they’re mostly correct in that basically every girl walked out of that party with a rubber penis in her purse. But it was also a very educational evening: for example, did you know that male ejaculate comes out at 26 MPH? That’s faster than I drive 99.9 percent of the time. Anyway after we grew tired of self-referenced ‘Cocksucking Kate’s’ various demonstrations, we all headed over to a local pool hall where I totally annihilated everyone’s egos by reigning victorious several times (so essentially once).
Saturday Ross and I got together and he showed me his amputated thumb. I swear I saw into his soul when he unraveled those bandages – it looks like cooked hamburger meat with a sprinkle of white brain on top. Literally. Are you hungry? Thereafter we navigated our way over to St.Catharines where both Billy and PMR were set to play at L3 Nightclub. PMR is a devil lover which always proves interesting to me, the ‘Jesus Girl’, and despite his band’s incredibly offensive lyrics I still enjoyed the set – Daniel Tremblay has a fantastic voice. Billy got extra short-shorted and did some exhuberant foot stomping during his set, but the kidlets were eating it up and turns out I enjoyed their set as well.
…So basically this weekend was on point.
But I still need to get outta here…
Saturday Ross and I got together and he showed me his amputated thumb. I swear I saw into his soul when he unraveled those bandages – it looks like cooked hamburger meat with a sprinkle of white brain on top. Literally. Are you hungry? Thereafter we navigated our way over to St.Catharines where both Billy and PMR were set to play at L3 Nightclub. PMR is a devil lover which always proves interesting to me, the ‘Jesus Girl’, and despite his band’s incredibly offensive lyrics I still enjoyed the set – Daniel Tremblay has a fantastic voice. Billy got extra short-shorted and did some exhuberant foot stomping during his set, but the kidlets were eating it up and turns out I enjoyed their set as well.
…So basically this weekend was on point.
But I still need to get outta here…
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