This weekend started off on a pretty hilarious note: my best gal pal hosted what women call a “Fantasia Party” and what men only know as “dildo domination.” Turns out they’re mostly correct in that basically every girl walked out of that party with a rubber penis in her purse. But it was also a very educational evening: for example, did you know that male ejaculate comes out at 26 MPH? That’s faster than I drive 99.9 percent of the time. Anyway after we grew tired of self-referenced ‘Cocksucking Kate’s’ various demonstrations, we all headed over to a local pool hall where I totally annihilated everyone’s egos by reigning victorious several times (so essentially once).
Saturday Ross and I got together and he showed me his amputated thumb. I swear I saw into his soul when he unraveled those bandages – it looks like cooked hamburger meat with a sprinkle of white brain on top. Literally. Are you hungry? Thereafter we navigated our way over to St.Catharines where both Billy and PMR were set to play at L3 Nightclub. PMR is a devil lover which always proves interesting to me, the ‘Jesus Girl’, and despite his band’s incredibly offensive lyrics I still enjoyed the set – Daniel Tremblay has a fantastic voice. Billy got extra short-shorted and did some exhuberant foot stomping during his set, but the kidlets were eating it up and turns out I enjoyed their set as well.
…So basically this weekend was on point.
But I still need to get outta here…
Monday, June 22, 2009
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