This weekend started off on a pretty hilarious note: my best gal pal hosted what women call a “Fantasia Party” and what men only know as “dildo domination.” Turns out they’re mostly correct in that basically every girl walked out of that party with a rubber penis in her purse. But it was also a very educational evening: for example, did you know that male ejaculate comes out at 26 MPH? That’s faster than I drive 99.9 percent of the time. Anyway after we grew tired of self-referenced ‘Cocksucking Kate’s’ various demonstrations, we all headed over to a local pool hall where I totally annihilated everyone’s egos by reigning victorious several times (so essentially once).
Saturday Ross and I got together and he showed me his amputated thumb. I swear I saw into his soul when he unraveled those bandages – it looks like cooked hamburger meat with a sprinkle of white brain on top. Literally. Are you hungry? Thereafter we navigated our way over to St.Catharines where both Billy and PMR were set to play at L3 Nightclub. PMR is a devil lover which always proves interesting to me, the ‘Jesus Girl’, and despite his band’s incredibly offensive lyrics I still enjoyed the set – Daniel Tremblay has a fantastic voice. Billy got extra short-shorted and did some exhuberant foot stomping during his set, but the kidlets were eating it up and turns out I enjoyed their set as well.
…So basically this weekend was on point.
But I still need to get outta here…
Monday, June 22, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Me Myself & I
I had a bit of an epiphany while in the shower this morning: being single fucking sucks. Not only because of the garauntee that there’d be no set of rough hands waiting to admire my silky smooth stems after I jumped out, but also because there are no nuzzles to share, no agonizingly cute inside jokes to whisper about, no hand holding, no pillow talk free of societal stigma, no cute texts, nothing. Basically without a significant other there seems absolutely no point nor purpose in me continuing to live this lonesome life.
HAHA, SIKE!
But really, why you playas gotta be holdin’ out on me? Okay I know I know, I can be a touch emotional and supremely stubborn at times; I might enjoy having the underside of my buttcheeks tickled and have an inclination toward bringing cheesecake and other food items into the bedroom, but otherwise I think I’m a pretty safe catch! I don’t at all mind cooking or cleaning, I’m a good listener and even better conversationalist (modest too, obv), I’m as much a cling-on as Britney Spears is sane (Aka, not. Perfect for LD relationships, right?), openminded *wink*, I can and will fight with you when it counts (and forgive you as often, too), I’m painfully honest, non-judgemental, I rarely get jealous and aside from this one time where I got shut down for sex while dressed like a replica of this hussy right here:
HAHA, SIKE!
But really, why you playas gotta be holdin’ out on me? Okay I know I know, I can be a touch emotional and supremely stubborn at times; I might enjoy having the underside of my buttcheeks tickled and have an inclination toward bringing cheesecake and other food items into the bedroom, but otherwise I think I’m a pretty safe catch! I don’t at all mind cooking or cleaning, I’m a good listener and even better conversationalist (modest too, obv), I’m as much a cling-on as Britney Spears is sane (Aka, not. Perfect for LD relationships, right?), openminded *wink*, I can and will fight with you when it counts (and forgive you as often, too), I’m painfully honest, non-judgemental, I rarely get jealous and aside from this one time where I got shut down for sex while dressed like a replica of this hussy right here:
I come baggage free! I don’t care what Beyonce says…as a single layday, I will not put my hands up. I give singledom two giant thumbs down. That being said, if you’re:
a) funny
b) spontaneous
c) handsome
d) thoughtful
e passionate about something
f) self-sufficient &
g) keen on learning how to make a girl feel good….
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Art As A Real Threat
Okay, okay, so this isn’t exactly ‘real’ graffiti art but I sure had myself a private giggle at its irony while I was standing on the corner of Parkdale and Queenston this morning. I mean shit, do or would people actually consider calling 911 if they saw someone decorating the already mostly-hideous landscapes of Hamilton? And if so, they ought to remind themselves of what that creepy/mega oldschool commercial campaign Stay Alert, Stay Safe taught us: you only call 911 in emergencies. Sharpies + paint don’t fall under this category, unless of course, you’re a jackass idiot.
I still haven’t heard anything back from Invisible Children and while parts of me are getting weary, part of me are settling just fine with the idea that I truly might NOT end up as a fall roadie. And, while I still plan on setting my feet upon European ground, there are a few things I might elect to take care of first.
Becoming a hopefully less furry but equally as lazy rendition of this lil' guy, for example.
Nah, but really, I kinda just want life to stop for a few days and let me off in the middle of nowhere so I can take a few seconds to catch my breath. By no means am I bragging (because Lord knows the things I should be doing outweigh the things I’ve done), but I’ve kept busy with and in my young life, and I think it’s time I take a break to re-evaluate and re-asses ma sitch, you know? I want to take the freedoms I still have and put good use to them before I’m seriously courting a husband or wearing mom pants with a baby on one of my mom hips. Yeuuuck.
Today’s been a good one. I slept for 13 hours last night. Triumph!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Blogroll V.3
I’m sitting in my office cubicle wondering how my organs and brain are still functioning on five hours sleep out of 52 spent awake – or on the contrary – why my brain isn’t working enough to know that if I delete the email account associated with my lil’ spot here, then I can no longer access/edit my blog. I’m not too keen on abbreviations, but seriously? FML. So here we go again...
On the upside I had a spectacular weekend. On Friday Jenna Lane and I went to Che in Hess Village where I half-seriously excersized my rights to hit on young skate boys. I still went home alone…but with about 4 more drinks in my system that weren’t on my expense, and I feel alllllright about that. Sunday blew in the BYD clan after they’d finished their tour with Static-X in the US. Some personal highlights from that day include (but are not limited to):
a. Towning reunions
b. My first experience in what I can only imagine an acid trip feels like due to Vinnie Paul’s taste in bus décor
c. Watching This Is Spinal Tap and realizing one of the characters highly resembles Cole Stephenson
d. Seeing FTFD play
e. Listening to music makers and shakers shit talk the people I generally shit talk and realizing we’re mostly in agreement about said shitty bands/people
f. Zeke the driver, his plight for a delicious sandwhich and offeratory macaroons + vitamins
g. Admiring front row headbangs and various sets of accidentally exposed big ol’ titties
h. Sneaky Dees reunions
i. Marvelous back scratches
j. Most, if not every single sentence that poured out of Lorenzo Antonucci’s alcohol fueled mouth
Something that’s possibly only personally comical came to light during all this hooplaw: Moreso when I was younger, I used to find myself making fun of ‘band chicks’ and their relationships with ‘band dudes’ because I couldn’t imagine them being anything other than uber shallow and/or slutty. But now that I’m in the opposition and with my own experiences to compare against, I realize that the aforementioned assumptions aren’t necessarily true. I mean, no doubt there are girls out there who thrive off having friends in a specific social circle and can only be satiated by the taste of someone else’s bodily secretions, but there are plenty of legit females out there (and yes, I am referring to myself) who engage in various types of relationships through the scope of people merely as people, as oppose to people as their occupation (IE: band dude). AND there are females out there (again, I am referring to myself) who engage in various experiences with people as people as oppose to people as their occupations. AND ultimately – regardless of whether you’re the girl pop lock n’ droppin’ or just bro-ing down with the bros – it doesn’t matter. Both group A and group B serve their purpose, and in my eyes both their perrogatives are A-OK.
Cheers to you, Pamela Des Barres.
On the upside I had a spectacular weekend. On Friday Jenna Lane and I went to Che in Hess Village where I half-seriously excersized my rights to hit on young skate boys. I still went home alone…but with about 4 more drinks in my system that weren’t on my expense, and I feel alllllright about that. Sunday blew in the BYD clan after they’d finished their tour with Static-X in the US. Some personal highlights from that day include (but are not limited to):
a. Towning reunions
b. My first experience in what I can only imagine an acid trip feels like due to Vinnie Paul’s taste in bus décor
c. Watching This Is Spinal Tap and realizing one of the characters highly resembles Cole Stephenson
d. Seeing FTFD play
e. Listening to music makers and shakers shit talk the people I generally shit talk and realizing we’re mostly in agreement about said shitty bands/people
f. Zeke the driver, his plight for a delicious sandwhich and offeratory macaroons + vitamins
g. Admiring front row headbangs and various sets of accidentally exposed big ol’ titties
h. Sneaky Dees reunions
i. Marvelous back scratches
j. Most, if not every single sentence that poured out of Lorenzo Antonucci’s alcohol fueled mouth
Something that’s possibly only personally comical came to light during all this hooplaw: Moreso when I was younger, I used to find myself making fun of ‘band chicks’ and their relationships with ‘band dudes’ because I couldn’t imagine them being anything other than uber shallow and/or slutty. But now that I’m in the opposition and with my own experiences to compare against, I realize that the aforementioned assumptions aren’t necessarily true. I mean, no doubt there are girls out there who thrive off having friends in a specific social circle and can only be satiated by the taste of someone else’s bodily secretions, but there are plenty of legit females out there (and yes, I am referring to myself) who engage in various types of relationships through the scope of people merely as people, as oppose to people as their occupation (IE: band dude). AND there are females out there (again, I am referring to myself) who engage in various experiences with people as people as oppose to people as their occupations. AND ultimately – regardless of whether you’re the girl pop lock n’ droppin’ or just bro-ing down with the bros – it doesn’t matter. Both group A and group B serve their purpose, and in my eyes both their perrogatives are A-OK.
Cheers to you, Pamela Des Barres.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)